The Hunger Games (or All My Creys)

I actually don't remember the last time I looked forward to a movie as much as I looked forward to The Hunger Games. It was probably some silly comic book movie like X-Men 3 or Watchmen (the trailer was just so effin' awesome! what happened to the rest of the movie?!). Which is exactly why I don't like to get too excited for movies, because higher expectations means higher chance of disappointment. I also, after reading the trilogy last year, wasn't quite sure how they were going to make the violent, often times bleak Hunger Games into a PG-13 movie with mainstream audience appeal.

My reaction: I really liked the movie. It's not without it's flaws, but I would say it's a very successful adaptation, and in some ways I'd dare to say it's better than the book.

***Spoiler warning for the whole movie and book, plus a small, possibly spoilery reference to Mockingjay***

Casting Thoughts:
- Jennifer Lawrence, what can I say? The book is told from Katniss' perspective, and she is not an exceedingly emotional, talkative person, so whatever actress played her was going to have to do a lot of "speaking without using words". And oh my God, Jennifer nailed it! She wasn't playing Katniss, she WAS Katniss.
- "But, she's not scrawny enough! Or olive skinned enough!" You know what, I only have one thing to say to you:

- Josh Hutchinson really surprised me, mostly since he just had the same lego-headed look in all the trailers, and I didn't think that dyed blonde hair did much for him. But he sucked me in as soon as Peeta's name was called at the Reaping. HIS FACE! I felt every bit as nervous, nauseous, horrified as I would if it were my name called. Josh as Peeta was sweet, love-sick, maybe slightly pathetic and even funny at times. I honestly was never very gaga over Book!Peeta but Josh won me over.
- I liked with the way Gale's limited screen time was handled. (Yes, I love Gale, yes, even after Mockingjay, feel free to come at me, bro). He's in the movie for, I dunno, five minutes, but I thought they did a good job of planting the seeds of his rebellious attitude and establishing his strong connection with Katniss. Again, in the trailers, Liam Hemsworth pretty much only had one expression: broody. And, well, he was pretty broody for the few minutes he was in the movie but that's pretty much Gale. I actually like that they didn't play up the "luv triangle" stuff very much, and they so easily could have, Liam did a good job of not overplaying Gale's reactions.
- Really all the casting was pretty stellar. Everyone embodied their characters well. Caesar and Snow were probably the most different from how I imagined them, but since they were played by Stanley Tucci and Donald Sutherland respectively, I can't say I cared at all.

So many good scenes:
- THE REAPING. I actually feel like this was the most fully realized scene of the movie. Effie's crazy outfit in contrast to the muted earth tones, the ridiculous propaganda video, Katniss' strained and desperate cries to Prim, the silent defiance of the District 12 citizens as they refused to applaud or make any sort of pageant out of two teenagers being sent to almost certain death. I probably would have burst out crying if I wasn't in a packed theater.
- Katniss' scene with Cinna before starting the games: oh man. Again, JLaw kills it, I don't even know if she said more than three words in that scene but all you need to know was said by her trembling. Like the Reaping scene, I felt as terrified as if I would if it were me heading into the Arena. And I nearly burst out crying again. SO MANY FEELINGS.
- I haven't heard anyone talk about Katniss' tracker-jacket-induced flashback to her father dying and her mother going catatonic, but I thought it was a really great scene; the symbolism of the shattering house, Katniss' voice being quiet and far away sounding. It was brief, but a wonderful way to show that little bit of Katniss' back story.
- The movie had a chance to out-do the book by getting away from Katniss' perspective a bit and showing some action outside the arena, and I think all the "added" scenes were really good, in fact the riots in District 11 and Seneca's "execution" were two of the best scenes in the movie IMHO.

The Arena: a mixed bag:
- I'm not going to judge the Arena too harshly. No, it didn't have the same level of violence and gore as the book BUT I think we all knew it never could, not if they wanted that PG13 rating at least. People complain a lot about the shaky cam, and the sound cut outs, but I though it was good, I felt like I was in Katniss' point of view. Yeah, a lot was cut or truncated, but while things like Katniss' struggle to find food or water or the days her and Peeta were in the cave were compelling in the book, that's not something that would necessarily translate to screen well (honestly, I found myself skimming the cave scenes in the book, for such an action pack, tightly written book, those scenes draaaaaaaaagged.)
- I thought it was a nice touch when Katniss heard the camera in the tree knot zoom in on her. Book!Katniss constantly refers to "the cameras" in the arena but I had a hard time visualizing it.
- And I know some were disappointed with the cave scenes, not as long or "steamy" as they could have been, but when they flashed to District 12 and to Gale's reaction, the cave scenes were coming across as, well, bad reality show drama and I liked that; the Hunger Games are a post-apocalyptic "Survivor", after all.
- Many are disappointed the Mutts weren't the creepy werewolf things with the eyes of the dead Tributes as they were described in the book, and that was probably a money thing, since the movie did have a relatively small budget. I'm of the opinion that's it's better to omit it than to not do it well, and it was one of those effects that if rushed or done cheaply could have looked really bad. I wasn't wild about the Mutt scenes in book anyways, it was this weird sci-fi twist that felt out of place in a book that was, all things considered, was otherwise pretty realistic.
-Oh, and slightly off topic, but I had to laugh when Peeta implied he got his mad camouflage skills from decorating cakes.

I concede it wasn't all awesome:
- The flim's weakest point is the visual effects, for sure. The initial view of the Capitol looked really good, but with things like the Tribute parade and Caesar's show, it was supposed to feel like they're in a stadium of people, but it really felt like a small sound-stage with a CG-ed audience. I agree with comments that the Capitol wasn't lavish enough, it was clean and modern, but it didn't quite capture the wastefulness of the Capitol (and no lamb stew? WTF!). I'll also assume budget constraints prevented them from having lifting the dead tributes out of the arena, which is a shame (of course, it would have gotten me even more emotional over Rue's death and I was already a mess at that point).
- Several things were also not explained terribly well. I didn't notice these things much since I know the books, but could imagine a newcomer being confused. The tesserae system (determining how many time your name is entered for the Reaping) is not fully explained. Effie is never properly introduced, nor is she ever called by her name! Everything about the flashback to Peeta throwing Katniss bread is great except it's not clear at all that she's there starving (she looks more sad that anything). They didn't have to do much, just show her rummaging through from trash and clenching her stomach.
- Considering how well developed every other section of the movie was, everything post-Games was pretty rushed, no scenes of Katniss and Peeta in the infirmary, no post games interview with Caesar, very little of the trip back to District 12.
- However, I'm okay with the movie ending on a more "positive" note. Katniss can just as easily tell Peeta she was faking her feelings for him at the beginning of the next movie. The ending helps bring the movie closure and it stands on it's own rather than feel like "the first part of a trilogy".

Wow, this post exploded! So I guess long story short, The Hunger Games had some rough edges, it wasn't quite as gritty as it could have been, and definitely has room to improve in the visual department, but I felt it captured the emotional impact of the source material, and in the end is a pretty good movie whether you're a fan of the book or not.

The only disappointment is it's a whole year until Catching Fire!

Live Snarking the Academy Awards

So rather than a billion tweets, I'm going to live-snark these Oscars, and add a few of my favorite tweets along the way.

6:30
It seems to be a tradition of mine to miss the Oscar opening. But the Twitterverse keeps saying "Bieber" and "Blackface" sooooooo maybe it was for the best.

Time to annoy my followers with#Oscar tweets! First one, Bradley Cooper with a mustache: do not want. #maybeifhewasspeakingfrenchalso
— Ladama (@ladama) February 27, 2012

I WON FOR BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY!!!!!!!!!!!!
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 27, 2012

We're going to play Count the Montage tonight. Intro doesn't count, but this does.
— Jezebel (@Jezebel) February 27, 2012

"[A dress] should be loose enough to prove you're a lady" ORLY J Lo?

And yes, I have now googled "J Lo nip slip".

7:00
There's was a Foreign Film nominee from Canada? Does that really qualify?

Ha, a dig at the GOP candidates AND Christian Bale, well done, Crystal.

I would love the Academy so much if Melissa McCarthy wins #nevergonnahappen. Octavia Spencer wins Best Supporting Actress.

Someone spin the Christian Bale Accent Wheel and tell me what he's doing tonight.
— Cleolinda Jones (@cleolinda) February 27, 2012

It's so important that they make everyone wrap up their speeches in 30 seconds so we can have more clips like the Wizard of Oz focus Group!

Also, why didn't they get Bradley Cooper to say the French names, he's all over that!

Girl with the Dragon Tattoo wins Best Editing: I haven't seen the American version yet, but it's good to know the extended sexual assault scenes are well edited.

7:30

Finally, some goddamn Muppets.
— Jezebel (@Jezebel) February 27, 2012

No one can reenact American movies better than French acrobats. #Oscars
— Andy Borowitz (@BorowitzReport) February 27, 2012

I won't lie, I loves me some Cirque Du Soleil.

And the Oscar for Best Friday Light Nights goes to Friday Night Lights.
— Jezebel (@Jezebel) February 27, 2012

Yes, let's get SIX GUYS up to the podium and tell them to wrap it up in 45 second. That'll work.

Ben Stiller's kind of short. Also, my girl crush on Emma Stone continues to grow.

Rock and Stone beat Crystal.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 27, 2012

I don't want to live in a world where Transformers is nominated for anything (save a Razzie Award). Thankfully Hugo wins Best Visual Effects.

8:00
"You're only 2 years older than me, where have you been all my life?" Give Christopher Plummer all the awards, guys.

Is it too late to get Uggie (the dog from The Artist) to host this thing?

Oh, no. Penelope Cruz and Cameron Diaz both have mom hair now.
— Coke Talk (@coketweet) February 27, 2012

Half of Flight of the Conchords just won an Oscar. Maybe there's justice in the world after all.

THE MOST TALENTED MAN IN THE ROOM (depending on the room)
— Cleolinda Jones (@cleolinda) February 27, 2012

I just watched Breaking Dawn yesterday, and it's NOT GOOD that Angelina Jolie is reminding me of a gaunt Kristen Stuart.

8:30
I think having the Bridesmaids ladies host would have been an awesome idea. Also I'm adding Rose Byrne to my "Please have a sandwich" foundation.

SHOUT OUT TO UGGIE!

9:00
It's "In Memoriam" time! You know you kinda look forward to it!

Ah, so J Lo's dress was kind of inspired by Liz Taylor's Cleopatra.

Singing the "In Memoriam" song was Esperanza Spaulding's prize for beating Bieber, Florence, Mumford, and Drake last year for "Best New Artist" Grammy.

Uggie is not nominated, and thus this award is irrelevant.

American Jobs Lost to Frenchman
— Jezebel (@Jezebel) February 27, 2012

But then again Jean DuJardin is quite possibly the most charming person on the planet.

Nevermind, Colin Firth is still the most charming person on the planet.

Is Meryl going to be as tipsy as she was at the Golden Globes?

Aw, darn, she was eloquent and heartfelt.  SHE'S THE WORSE! (just kidding, she's a national treasure.)

9:30
Best Picture, it's almost over!!!

P.S. Is Tom Cruise just aging backwards now? Or is he a vampire like Keanu and Nick Cage?

Just give it to The Artist already!

Ha, you can totally pronounce "Hazanavicius" if you just mumble it.

Congrats Uggie!!!! #oscars #treatsgalore #thefrench
— josh groban (@joshgroban) February 27, 2012

And with that, the Oscars are finished! See you next year when we honor a bunch of movies no one has seen, good night!

Nanowrimo 2011

It's November, which means it's NaNoWriMo time. I personally haven't had much luck with NaNoWriMo, possibly because I attempted it a couple times in college and November was probably the worst month to attempt to write a novel, what with Thanksgiving break and end-of-semester projects and all. But this year, I literally have nothing to do during November, so I figured I should go for it.

So how does one write an average 1,667 words a day for 30 days in a row? Actually, better question, how does a perfectionist write 1,667 words/day for 30 days? What appeals to me about NaNoWriMo is that you have to just go for it. No one can actually write a 50,000 word novel and have it ready for publishing on December 1st, so there's no need to worry it being perfect. I had a creative writing teacher once tell me that it's okay to write that bad first draft, and with NaNoWriMo all you really have time for is that bad first draft.

Some other tips I've heard over the years that I'll try to follow:

Set a goal and stop when you meet it: I read this on a writer's blog; he set his goal at 2 new pages a day. Some days he would be on a roll and didn't want to stop writing, other days he felt he could barely get past a paragraph. But no matter what, he would get to the end of the second page and stop mid-sentence if necessary. With NaNoWriMo, you have to average 6 double-spaced letter-sized pages to reach 50,000 by the end of the month, so I think I will adopt the "write 6 pages and stop" method, at least until it's the last week and I only have 10,000 words written.

Write in the same place and at the same time every day: This is a studying tip I've heard, but I don't see why it wouldn't work for writing as well, it helps make writing more habitual, and maybe also helps get you over the "getting started" hump that I know I feel whenever I write or draw anything. Now with 1,667 words to write a day, I'm sure I'll have to write when and where I can just to keep up, but I will try to have a "writing hour" (or two) every day at the same time.

No editing until the daily goal is reached: As I said before, NaNoWriMo is a perfectionist's worst nightmare since there's simply no time to even attempt to perfect it. So my solution is to not even try, I'll write my 1,667 words and then maybe I'll think about going back and changing some phrases.

Have fun: Self-explanatory.

Okay, time to get writing!

It's official: I f**king hate iTunes

iTunes how I hate thee? Let me count the ways.

1. Completely unintuitive music organization: iTunes does great with music you buy from the iTunes store, but anything you import from any other source usually has all the completely wrong information attached to it, and you have to edit it one by one. It also doesn't smartly connect artists, if there's a feature artist on one track on your album, then the song gets listed not under "Artist A" but under "Artist A featuring Artist B". What are you doing?!?! It's the same artist, list it with the rest of their songs!!!!

2. Randomly forgets your library or your iPod FOR NO F**KING REASON! Seriously, it's happened at least 3 times where I plug in my iPod and iTunes says "Your iPod is corrupted" then you have to reset it and it take an hour to reload all the music. Oh and even better, iTunes recently just forgot my library. I start it up one day and it says "iTunes library folder can't be found". I look in the music folder and it was right there! But iTunes forgot it! Cue another hour spent importing files and rebuilding my library.

3. Any file that wasn't purchased in the sanctioned iTunes store is handled weirdly: Sorry, not all my music was purchased from the store, I did have CDs back in the day, I've exchanged music with my friends, and I've bought music from other websites. But when I import none-iTunes store music, it duplicated the file, it also sometimes wants to convert it to AAC format, which make the file size bigger, and makes the file a slave to iTunes.

3. They secretly want you to not back-up your files. A few duplicates ended up in my library, so I deleted them, I also accidentally deleted a few purchased songs. Is there some kind of warning window saying "Oh, hey, you're about to deleted some purchased music, are you sure you want to continue?". Of course not, it just goes in the trash. So I realized I deleted 3 recently purchased songs, so I go to the store thinking maybe I can re-download the songs. Surely since they store every tiny bit of information about your purchase, and automatically know when the song is authorized on a new computer, they will let you re-download the song on the same computer you purchased and downloaded the song on to begin with, right? RIGHT?! Nope, no dice. Time to find the album on a torrent purchase the song again!

4. When you do back up your files through iTunes, they do a shitty job: I just got a new computer, so I do the ol' transfer of the files, and I backed up all my purchased music onto a DVD. I upload the music, it's working no problem, oh except the occasional song that just randomly stopped 45 seconds in. iTunes wouldn't tell me what was going on, so I installed a new music player which told me the file was corrupted. Oh, I see, iTunes, I use you to back up my music, and you can't even write it to a DVD properly. So what happens when the files corrupted because of something iTunes did? Well, since there's no way to re-download your purchases, you better just hope the file is still in tact somewhere (luckily I also has my iTunes music on an external hard-drive).

5. Rent movies from iTunes? How about no. $3.99 for new release rentals? You can rent 4 movies from Redbox for that, or just double it and have unlimited movies for a month from Netflix. I'm already trying to get away from iTunes for music purchases, no way will I start renting movies from them.

In short, I know it's a free program, but considering it's created by Apple which prides itself on creating attractive, user-friendly hardware and software, iTunes is remarkably frustrating and unintuitive. The fact that there's no way to recover an accidentally deleted or corrupted file is a flaw that competitors are already taking advantage of (see Amazon's new Cloud Player). I was recently suggested Songbird as an iTunes alternative, so hopefully my days of iTunes frustration are coming to a close. Good riddance.

“Jump the Shark” has Jumped the Shark

I was reading a post about Steve Carell leaving The Office, and against my better judgment read some user comments. Of course, several were along the lines of “The Original was better!” (yeah, haven’t heard that 15 BILLION TIMES over the last 6 years) but the other negative comment I kept reading was, “They need to just cancel the show, it jumped the shark years ago.”

Okay, to everyone out there in regards to "Jump the Shark"

Now, I remember when this term kind of came into internet vogue in the early 2000s, and I thought I understood it’s meaning. But Urban Dictionary tells me it’s: “a term to describe a moment when something that was once great has reached a point where it will now decline in quality and popularity.”

I take this to mean “Jump the shark” can refer to anything that’s not quite as good as it once was.

“My car sure jumped the shark after it reached 100,000 miles.”
“Ew, this milk has jumped the shark!”
“Grandma really jumped the shark when she developed osteoporosis.”
“I’m sorry, I have you break up with you, this relationship has jumped the shark.”

Wow, “Jump the shark” has, well, kinda jumped the shark in that people have taken this term that once referred to someone very specific and now just uses it as a quick and easy criticism of any TV show that had an episode or storyline they didn’t care for. The Old “Jump the Shark” website even had a category where people listed shows they felt jumped the shark on Day One. THIS MAKE NO SENSE!

The original meaning (from Wikipedia) was, “a moment…characterized by absurdity, when a show abandons its core premises and begins a decline in quality that is beyond recovery.”

It’s not just when a show gradually becomes stale and repetitive, which is pretty much bound to happen to any show that runs longer than 2-3 seasons, it’s the point where the show does something ridiculous and completely incongruent with the show, and THEN suffers a steady decline marked by gimmicky and desperate attempts to regain audience.

True “jumping the shark” is things like this happening:

• same character: different actor
• introduction of a new kid because the other kids on the show are getting older.
• ridiculously “themed” episode (I’m talking black and white “what would this show be like in the 40’s” episodes)
• character coming back from the dead
• completely outlandish storyline

A TV show can definitely have any of these shark jumping moments, but if it recovers from them, the series as a whole hasn’t really “jumped the shark.”

Now I’ll concede that The Office has had some “shark jumpy” moments (the Dwight/Angela/Andy story line in Season 4 comes to mind) but I also feel the current Season 7 has been their strongest in years.

So unless Michael Scott is killed off and then brought back from the dead, but played by a different actor, I don’t believe The Office has or will truly “jump the shark.”

New Member of the Super Friends

My Funny Valentine Chocolates

One nice thing about going to the drug store on February 15th is the Valentine's stuff is half off. That included heart shaped Reese's Peanut Butter cups. I saw the packaging and said "yes please!". Then I open them up and see this.

What the . . . those aren't hearts! They're like cursor arrows with butts on the end! So disappointing, especially when I compare them to a box of chocolates my friend in Japan received from a teacher.

Piggy chocolates! Only in Japan, my friends (where the girls give guys stuff on Valentine's day, and think that's how it is in 'Merica as well).

Dazed and Confused by the Grammy Awards

I was looking forward to the Grammy awards since a) I hadn't seen them in at least 3 years, and b) the show's known to turn out some good performances. And there were certainly some interesting moments, but overall I was just really confused. And I only really remember a handful of things about the show, so let's talk about them.

The "Pay Tribute to Aretha Franklin" thing. I was a little confused by this, was she getting a lifetime achievement award? Eitherway, there was Christina "Don't Forget the Lyrics" Aguilera, Jennifer Hudson, Martina McBride, Florence Welch and Yolanda . . . something. I kind felt bad for Martina and Florence going up against three powerhouse singers like that (they're strong singers, but not in that soul sistah way). I enjoyed the Diva-off between Christina and Yolanda at the end.

Lady Gaga performs Express Yourself 2011 Born This Way. All I could think about was how sweaty those dancers had to be in those latex-y costumes, that stuff doesn't breath.

The throwback performance where it briefly went to black and white. I'm so out of the music scene! I had no idea who any of those singers were. But I think I'm a Janelle Monae fan now.

The Performance with Mumford and Sons, some other group, and then Bob Dylan: Wow, I have never seen a keyboardist rock out as hard and the Mumford and Sons keyboardist did. I liked the second group, will have to look them up. And then Bob came out, looked a little confused, stumbled around the cello that was randomly in the middle of the stage, then started singing or something, it was a little hard to hear with 14 guys shouting in the background. Oh, why was the camera angle like that?! Is that the "Dylan Angle"?

The random pairing of musical groups and various CBS stars to present awards. Maybe it was only Paramore and Paulie Perette, but still, what do they have to do with each other?! So confusing. I really wish Award shows would get rid of the scripted “banter”, it’s so awful. The Miley Cyrus and Green Bay Packers guy was particularly painful.

Bieber fights drumming Ninjas! Oh, God, I’m not sure what’s happening to me, but I don’t hate Justin Bieber. Don’t call me a Bieliber yet, I’m just saying anyone who has drumming ninjas as part of his act can’t be all bad. Also Jaden Smith showed up, but too bad Willow wasn’t there to whip her hair a bit.

Katy Perry performs. Another artist that I don’t hate. What can I say? Teenage Dream and Firework are really catchy songs, I wish I was in Japan so I could rock those tunes out at karaoke. Also, while I said before the random appearance of stars from CBS shows bothered me, the obvious exception is Neil Patrick Harris.

Cee Lo performs “Forget You” with muppets, while dressed like a peacock or something. I think you were outdone, Gaga.

Dear Ricky Martin, no one should wear pants that tight or that silver. No one.


Somewhere in there, the Best New Artist was presented. I wonder how many people even in the theater googled Esperanza Spalding on their phones when she won. While it’s great that such an underdog won the award against The Biebs, I was a bit bummed the award didn’t go to Florence + the Machine or Mumford & Sons.

At some point Mr. Schuester came out and started talking about Jazz music in schools or something, it bored me to tears and I spent the segment looking for Esperanza Spalding videos on youtube.

I liked Norah Jones, Keith Urban, and John Depp Mayer’s rendition of “Jolene”. But, kind of like the Aretha thing, this reason for this “tribute to Dally Parton” wasn’t really explained. Still sounded pretty.

I thought Rihanna looked very pretty and classy when she performed her bit of “Loved the Way You Lie”, and then when she did “What my name?” she wore a bikini made of ropes or something. Yesterday I watched her video “S&M”, that was a scarring experience.

Someone needs to have a simple explanation of the difference between “Song” and “Record of the Year”. I know one is for the writers, and the other is for the actual performers of the song. Or they can just keep it simple and give both awards to the same song, like they usually do.

Mick Jagger is like 100 years old and performs like a maniac. Barbra Streisand’s voice is like butter. Gotta love the classics.

Arcade Fire gave me motion sickness. Cameras on the bikes, constant strobe lights, it was a bit too much. There’s also like 5 songs from “The Suburbs” I like better than “Month of May”. Would have loved some “We use to wait”.

And then they won album of the year, which was pretty cool, but apparently a lot of people in the twitterverse didn’t know who the Arcade Fire is. I take back what I said before about being so out of the music scene, these guys are the ones who are out of it.

Arcade Fire comes back and performs again with no strobes or bmx bikes. Far less epileptic seizure inducing, so thank you for that, AF.

And there it was. Ryan Seacrest and some annoying girl at the commercials kept telling me I had just seen a bunch of “Only at the Grammys” moments, but I don’t know. The performances were so frantic, nothing really grabbed me and made me say “OMFG, this is amazing!”, mostly just a lot of "wait, who is that?". But now I'm ready for the "Award show where I haven't seen any of the movies" in two weeks. Bring it on.

Crazy Cute Japan Stickers pt. 2

Alice in Wonderland is very popular in Japan. I even went to an Alice themed restaurant once (yes, it was awesome). So of course Japan has super awesome Alice stickers.

The gang's all there! Cheshire Cat, White Rabbit, Tweedle Dee and Dum. And of course there's wonderfully Japanese-English phrases like "She experienced wonder time". The only drawback is every sticker is different! How can I ever use these?! Oh well, just add it to the collection.

Let’s Snark on: Glee ep.212

I’m not sure if there’s a show on TV that frustrates me more than Glee. On the one hand, it has a fun premise, witty dialogue, a few great characters, sometimes very awesome performances, and on occasion a moment that just makes me bawl my eyes out. On the other hand, many characters are rather thinly developed, a lot of performances feel like big-budget karaoke, and the plot holes make me want to tear my hair out. (Dear Glee Writers, It’s called continuity, here’s a link. Or perhaps your goal is to make the plot be as all over the place as a teenager’s moods, in which case, well done.)

So how will this week’s episode, “Silly Love Songs” hold up to my scrutiny? Let’s watch and find out! (I've included the timemark of each moment so you can watch along on Hulu and snark with me)

01:00 Hmm, the, ahem, robust Lauren doesn’t dig on hottie Puckerman, interesting turning of tables.

01:15 Reasons Puck likes Lauren: “Maybe it’s because she’s constantly insulting me like my mom”.

02:15 WTF FINN?! You like Quinn again?! Not worth it, dude.

04:00 Blaine better be talking about Kurt, or he’s leading the poor kid along. I’m sure in some cultures buying someone coffee is the equivalent of getting engaged.

04:09 “Totally gonna graduate now!” Oh, Brittany, don’t change ever

04:45 Slow your roll, Finnster.

05:30 Mr. Schue: Addicted to Vests.

06:30 Had to Googled the “I spell woman ‘Z-I-Z-E-S” line. Note to writers, make sure we know a character's last name before making a joke referencing it.

07:40 Even the bird shits itself when Blaine suggests the Warblers sing off campus.

08:13 I love you, Kurt, even the way you raise your hand is awesome. But still, you been with the Warblers for like 5 days, they’re not gonna listen to your opinion. They have a COUNCIL!!!

08:55 Oh Noes, Blaine likes some guy at the Gap! Hugs through the screen, Kurt.

10:30 It’s official, a Kurt/Rachel/Mercedes slumber party is better than your slumber party.

10:45 Puck sings “Fat Bottomed Girls” by Queen (aka epic band that Glee should never be allowed to cover ever) What what what are you doing?!

13:30 Are things like kissing booths even allowed in American High Schools? Seems like it would only lead to many angry phone calls from parents.

16:15 What, why was Finn keeping Rachel’s Christmas present at his kissing both. Oh well, it leads the first kinda sweet moment of the episode.

17:20 Okay, that whole lead-in to “P.Y.T.” was awkward.

19:00 But I’m digging the Artie-singing Mike-dancing thing.

21:00 Messing with Puck’s ego, beating up Santana, I think I like Lauren.

21:35 Seriously, do the writers not remember that Finn and Quinn have been together like 3 times now, and it’s always sucked?

23:00 Doesn’t Blaine know the whole stalking serenade thing only works in music videos? Otherwise it’s kinda creepy. And by “kinda” I mean “very”.

25:15 Wait, why did this kid get fired? Because of a flash mob he had nothing to do with?

26:20 “Gassy infant look” Ha! Okay, Santana, I hate you less now.

28:45 Aaaand just when I thought Glee was doing a good job of portraying an overweight character, Puck wins Lauren over with a candy ring pop.

29:50 Finn and Quinn meet and talk . . . I still can’t bring myself to care.

32:00 So wait, Kurt says to Blaine “I thought the guy you liked was me” and Blaine basically said “Oh, I guess I kinda do like you, let’s go out.” WHERE IS THIS PLACE WHERE THINGS LIKE THIS HAPPEN?!?!?

32:40 “Well that’ll buy us half a ticket to nationals.” Geez, Mr. Schue, could you be less grateful, please?

34:25 Dear writers: I hate to keep chewing you out but I think you’ve mistaken Tina sobbing on the floor as “character development”, try giving her more than two lines in an episode, then see what happens.

35:00 Just a sidenote, I wikied Mono, and it said it takes 4-7 weeks after exposure for symptoms to show up, not half a day. That’s all, carry on.

39:55 Rachel, white tights, why?

40:00 So remember when Mr. Schuester said the theme was “World’s Greatest Love Songs”? You probably forgot since only “My Funny Valentine” came close to fitting the description of “Great Love Songs”. You get an A, Tina.

40:45 Still, I’ve decided Katy Perry is just the kind of artist Glee needs to cover. Catchy recent songs that have vocals the Glee kids can improve on.

43:30 I know Santana’s just giving Sam a “I know your girlfriend’s kissing someone else” look, but now I’m totally all for a Santana and Sam pairing, at least Santana’s not as boring as Quinn.

So yeah, there’s “Silly Love Songs”. If I had to sum it up in 3 words, it’s “NEEDS MOAR SUE.” Maybe next week.

Crazy Cute Japan Stickers pt. 1

Japanese stickers are CRAZY cute. All sorts of adorable critters and cartoons, and the crazy part is usually on a sheet no two stickers are the same! I have a whole shoebox of these stickers now and decided to share some of my favorites.

Today: The World

OMFG, it's a world of adorable stickers!!! It's not exactly to scale, the matador's in Africa, and somehow the Great Pyramids ended up in Indonesia, but still GAH CUTE STICKER WORLD!!

Fast fact: The little Australian sheep aren't saying "Me!" but rather メー (pronounced "may", but the romanization is "mee") which is the Japanese way of saying "baa". Cute, and educational!

Mockingjay

So I recently read The Hunger Games series, which is apparently the current Young Adult novel sensation. Spoilers for the whole series ahead, so, you’ve been warned.

The premise of The Hunger Games is that what was once North America is now Panem, a country made up of a Capitol and 12 districts. The people of the districts are more or less slaves to the Capitol, and every year, to exert their power, the Capitol takes a teenaged boy and girl from each district and pits these so-called tributes together in a televised to-the-death battle called the Hunger Games. The tribute from the poor, coal mining District 12 is Katniss Everdeen, who volunteers to take the place of her sister, Prim. Katniss heads to the Capitol with her fellow tribute, Peeta (oh trust me, the names get better, there’s a kid named Glimmer). Then the book gets its “Lord of the Flies” on, mixed with Katniss being all emotionally conflicted since Peeta reveals he’s been loving Katniss from afar since childhood.

Next comes Katniss Beyond Thunderdome Catching Fire. Katniss and Peeta somehow survived last Hunger Games and now have a life of relative ease as victors. However, rebellion is abrewin’ in the districts, since it turns out that making 24 kids fight to the death each year for entertainment is not a great PR move (thought it gets very good ratings in the dictator demographic), and after Katniss’s defiant actions in the Games, she is becoming a (reluctant) symbol of the rebellion. She’s also having a little boy trouble. First, there’s Peeta, whose upset with her for pretending to return his feelings when they were in the Games. Then there’s Gale, Katniss’s hunky hunting buddy who kisses Katniss one day, and now Katniss is totally torn and stuff! But she really can’t think about kissing when she’s got a rebellion to incite*.

*actual line from book

It’s also time for the 75th Hunger Games, and every 25 years they make it extra malicious, such as doubling the number of kids sent. So this year, the tributes are chosen from past victors, which means Katniss and Peeta are heading back to the Games. Oh, and there’s a passing reference to fluffy carnivorous squirrels.

“You killed my father with your 4runner, prepare to die!”

Finally, there’s Mockingjay. A handful of tributes have escaped from the Hunger Games, most of the districts are in full revolt, and Katniss is at the thought-to-be-destroyed District 13, the center of the Rebellion forces. . . . and well let’s take a moment and look at the cover. Bright blue color, free-flying bird, speaks of hope and optimism, right?

However, if you turn the cover upside down, you’ll now see the bird is actually plunging towards a pit of spikes and sadness. This is how you, the reader, will feel by the beginning of the last chapter.

That center spike will pierce his heart.

Now onto my rants, which mostly pertain to the last 4 chapters of the book.  

If you've read this far, you probably don't care, but I’ll say it again, serious spoilers for Mockingjay.

* Finnick getting the “Whedon Death Treatment” [definition: when a popular, likable character is killed for no other purpose that to rip out the hearts of the fans]. Why, was he too awesome? Too happy to have his Crazy Annie back? Speaking of, while it was infinitely sweet that the Heartthrob Finnick loved Annie, the "why" is never really explained (“she snuck up on me” doesn’t cut it). And it won’t be explained because now he’s dead. But just when you’ve recovered from Finnick --

* Prim goes up in smoke: WHYYYYYYY?!?! I had to reread the scene just because I couldn’t believe Prim would actually be killed off. On the one hand, it fit the “War is Hell, War has no winners” tone of the book, and gave Katniss all the reason she needed to kill Coin (couldn’t Prim just getting horribly burned have the same effect?). However, it’s really hard to not feel a bit cheated by it. Everything Katniss did was to protect Prim, and Prim is ripped away from her at the last minute. It’s not quite the “Whedon Death” Finnick got, but it feels like it was done just to be shocking and to put Katniss through more hell (also to be the wedge that drives Gale and Katniss apart, see next point).

* Gale surprisingly doesn’t die, but gets a rather unceremonious ejection from the story, which is almost worst. This really sticks in my craw for some reason. Here’s Katniss and Gale’s last conversation (paraphrased):

Gale: "I know all you’re going to think when you look at me is how I’m sort-of-but-not-really responsible for your sister’s death."
Katniss: "Yup."

And with that, their relationship is more or less over. Now, I understand that, rational or not, she’s now associates Gale with Prim dying and for that reason she can’t be with him. But does his tenuous tie to Prim’s death really completely negate their connection and everything else they’d been through together? I would understand if Katniss felt he was too consumed by the rebellion, and yes, he did get a bit ruthless as the book went on, and buy into Rebellion’s ideology too much for Katniss’s taste, but a) war does tend to bring out the dark side in people and b) he was always on her side and by her side.

I just don’t like that they (as far as I can tell) never really talk again. That after the dust of the rebellion settled and some time passed, neither one of them attempted to reach out to each other. If their relationship really couldn’t survive Prim’s death, that’s fine, I still feel they deserved a little more closure. Dammit, Mockingjay, don’t make me turn to fanfic!

* The last chapter feels like a lot of “telling” and very little “showing”. Sure, Katniss says things like “Slowly . . . I come back to life” but there’s nothing showing us she still isn’t acting like a shell of her former self. Then she says “Peeta and I grow back together”. Great, but since he spent most of the book trying to wring Katniss’s neck, a little elaboration on the how they grow back together would be nice.

* The Epilogue: um, okay? Katniss gets a somewhat happy ending, but she seems so resigned to it all. She has kids, not because she wants to, or feels the world is a safer place to bring children into now that the Hunger Games are over, but because Peeta convinces her. And even then her children don’t seem to bring any extra happiness to her life. Though the epilogue is short, there’s a sense that she’s distant from her children, not unlike her own relationship with her mother (anyone notice she doesn’t reveal her children's names, much like her mothers name is never revealed?). It doesn’t feel right because she was such a survivor and fighter, and by the end it feels like she’s simply existing. Maybe that’s the point, that after going through so much, the girl who was on fire ended up burning out.

Despite all this, I did like the book, and the series overall, and clearly I really grew attached to the characters or else all this wouldn’t bother me. After the last few years of Twilight-mania, it’s nice that a series which is well written, has a well developed protagonist and also has, you know, a plot is now so popular. Bring on the movies!