I’m not sure if there’s a show on TV that frustrates me more than Glee. On the one hand, it has a fun premise, witty dialogue, a few great characters, sometimes very awesome performances, and on occasion a moment that just makes me bawl my eyes out. On the other hand, many characters are rather thinly developed, a lot of performances feel like big-budget karaoke, and the plot holes make me want to tear my hair out. (Dear Glee Writers, It’s called continuity, here’s a link. Or perhaps your goal is to make the plot be as all over the place as a teenager’s moods, in which case, well done.)
So how will this week’s episode, “Silly Love Songs” hold up to my scrutiny? Let’s watch and find out! (I've included the timemark of each moment so you can watch along on Hulu and snark with me)
01:00 Hmm, the, ahem, robust Lauren doesn’t dig on hottie Puckerman, interesting turning of tables.
01:15 Reasons Puck likes Lauren: “Maybe it’s because she’s constantly insulting me like my mom”.
02:15 WTF FINN?! You like Quinn again?! Not worth it, dude.
04:00 Blaine better be talking about Kurt, or he’s leading the poor kid along. I’m sure in some cultures buying someone coffee is the equivalent of getting engaged.
04:09 “Totally gonna graduate now!” Oh, Brittany, don’t change ever
04:45 Slow your roll, Finnster.
05:30 Mr. Schue: Addicted to Vests.
06:30 Had to Googled the “I spell woman ‘Z-I-Z-E-S” line. Note to writers, make sure we know a character's last name before making a joke referencing it.
07:40 Even the bird shits itself when Blaine suggests the Warblers sing off campus.
08:13 I love you, Kurt, even the way you raise your hand is awesome. But still, you been with the Warblers for like 5 days, they’re not gonna listen to your opinion. They have a COUNCIL!!!
08:55 Oh Noes, Blaine likes some guy at the Gap! Hugs through the screen, Kurt.
10:30 It’s official, a Kurt/Rachel/Mercedes slumber party is better than your slumber party.
10:45 Puck sings “Fat Bottomed Girls” by Queen (aka epic band that Glee should never be allowed to cover ever) What what what are you doing?!
13:30 Are things like kissing booths even allowed in American High Schools? Seems like it would only lead to many angry phone calls from parents.
16:15 What, why was Finn keeping Rachel’s Christmas present at his kissing both. Oh well, it leads the first kinda sweet moment of the episode.
17:20 Okay, that whole lead-in to “P.Y.T.” was awkward.
19:00 But I’m digging the Artie-singing Mike-dancing thing.
21:00 Messing with Puck’s ego, beating up Santana, I think I like Lauren.
21:35 Seriously, do the writers not remember that Finn and Quinn have been together like 3 times now, and it’s always sucked?
23:00 Doesn’t Blaine know the whole stalking serenade thing only works in music videos? Otherwise it’s kinda creepy. And by “kinda” I mean “very”.
25:15 Wait, why did this kid get fired? Because of a flash mob he had nothing to do with?
26:20 “Gassy infant look” Ha! Okay, Santana, I hate you less now.
28:45 Aaaand just when I thought Glee was doing a good job of portraying an overweight character, Puck wins Lauren over with a candy ring pop.
29:50 Finn and Quinn meet and talk . . . I still can’t bring myself to care.
32:00 So wait, Kurt says to Blaine “I thought the guy you liked was me” and Blaine basically said “Oh, I guess I kinda do like you, let’s go out.” WHERE IS THIS PLACE WHERE THINGS LIKE THIS HAPPEN?!?!?
32:40 “Well that’ll buy us half a ticket to nationals.” Geez, Mr. Schue, could you be less grateful, please?
34:25 Dear writers: I hate to keep chewing you out but I think you’ve mistaken Tina sobbing on the floor as “character development”, try giving her more than two lines in an episode, then see what happens.
35:00 Just a sidenote, I wikied Mono, and it said it takes 4-7 weeks after exposure for symptoms to show up, not half a day. That’s all, carry on.
39:55 Rachel, white tights, why?
40:00 So remember when Mr. Schuester said the theme was “World’s Greatest Love Songs”? You probably forgot since only “My Funny Valentine” came close to fitting the description of “Great Love Songs”. You get an A, Tina.
40:45 Still, I’ve decided Katy Perry is just the kind of artist Glee needs to cover. Catchy recent songs that have vocals the Glee kids can improve on.
43:30 I know Santana’s just giving Sam a “I know your girlfriend’s kissing someone else” look, but now I’m totally all for a Santana and Sam pairing, at least Santana’s not as boring as Quinn.
So yeah, there’s “Silly Love Songs”. If I had to sum it up in 3 words, it’s “NEEDS MOAR SUE.” Maybe next week.
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